A typhoon raged outside. Umbrellas offered no protection. The streets were devoid of people. But inside Japone Cafe, a blink-and-you'll-miss-it sushi bar, a different kind of storm was brewing. A steady stream of A-to-Zers trickled in, dined on teriyaki, and sipped on sake. Old friends showed up. The waitress doled out countless $4 Sapporos. More than a dozen first-time A-to-Zers arrived. Before we knew it, our near-record crowd of 40+ people had taken over the entire bar. At 9pm, the lights flickered, and the crowd fell silent. An unassuming gentleman named Laithe appeared, still in his tie, but with a microphone in his hand. An unmistakable guitar riff began. I put down my chopsticks, and gave Laithe my full attention. I knew that his karaoke performance would set the tone for the entire evening. "Please don't suck," I whispered. Dude abided, belting out a near flawless version of Guns n' Roses "Sweet Child o' Mine," complete with Axl Rose gruff and Adam Lambert falsetto. The audience roared with approval, for the evening had truly begun. The Perfect Storm had arrived.
What followed was a rip-roaring 4 (or was it 5?) hours of sake bombs, sushi rolls, and sing alongs. Performances ranged from awesome to terrible, Johnny Cash to "Rock the Cashbah," and covered every note in the scale and multiple octaves. Yours truly even took the stage a few times, once against my will to mumble along to "The Thong Song," once by choice to discover the hard way that I don't really have Michael Jackson's pipes on "Black or White," and once to take the part of Danny Zuko in a "Summer Nights" duet.
Some performances didn't go so well. M. Gatewood attempted to sing "Living in America" but gave up halfway through, admitting that it was a "total car wash." (He would redeem himself later with "Country Roads," luckily). The aforementioned Laithe proved that even Axl Rose has bad days (well, is having a bad two decades, actually), screeching through "Don't Cry" and fully erasing any respect he'd earned earlier in the evening. Tommy D and I tried to mimic the Dan Band's version of "Total Eclipse of the Heart," but instead just sounded like a couple of idiots cussing into a microphone. Note to self: surprise F-bombs in songs lose their novelty when you shout them every other word.
As promised, however, I now rank the Top Five performances of the evening (in no particular order):
1. Laithe, "Sweet Child o' Mine" -- set us on a great path for the evening, and we'll ignore his butcher job of "Don't Cry" later on.
2. Paul, "Faith" -- looks more like George Michael Bluth than George Michael Wham, but sounds great.
3. Name Unknown, "Fix You" -- when he first started we all looked at each other saying "this is a depressing song to do for karaoke." However, halfway through we were entranced, singing along and waving cell phones in the air like lighters. A moving performance.
4. Jen Scott, "Like a Prayer" -- I personally think the song is way overrated and overplayed, but I can't deny the effect it has on audiences. Ms. Scott didn't even need the teleprompter.
5. Some Dude, "F*** Her Gently" -- a Tenacious D classic that took many in the crowd by surprise.
We closed the place down, I left my umbrella there, and woke up with a terrible post-sake headache, but thankful for such a rousing success. I know it must have been a good time, as my notepad I usually have with me had the following written on it this morning [very loose translation]: "Crabs you thinky Guam. Peaks --> hot!" If anyone can discern the meaning in this, I'll by your drinks at the next bar. And about that, we have something quite special lined up for next week, so be on the lookout...
All-stars of the evening: the couple we saw on the sidewalk in the pouring rain, wearing a huge trashbag, apparently without eyeholes, and waddling slowly to who knows where. I kid you not, they looked exactly like Grimmace.
UPDATE: I just received the following email from someone whose identity I will protect, time stamped at 1:09 PM: "In complete honesty, I am still intoxicated. The Big Hunt and Cafe Citron after parties were aggressive." So, apparently five people made it a 3am night...
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