Eighteenth Amendment: Speak Easy and Carry a Good Shtick!

Finding the perfect E bar wasn't easy, even though there are plenty of them around. But, after last week's Domaso Disappointment, I wanted to avoid another lounge-y atmosphere in favor of a more traditional bar feel. Problem is, you've got 11th Street Lounge in Clarendon. It's a lounge. 18th Street Lounge in DuPont. Also a lounge. 18th and Red in Admo? A lounge. That's red. Luckily, I found Eighteenth Amendment, a new-ish bar in Capitol Hill Southeast that balances a comfortable, couch-heavy upstairs with a dive-y atmosphere downstairs.

We had another good turnout, despite the fact the air was rife with drizzles and swine. The WHO may have increased the pandemic threat level to 5, but the who's who of DC: A-to-Z one-upped them, raising the *fun* level to 6. Zing! The pizza was delicious and the imported beers delightful (except the La Fin der Monde, which is no surpise -- a beer should not have a 4-worded name).

But the real treat was downstairs, where Miller High Life bottles were just $2 all night. Despite this dream-come-true, I learned that at least one bar patron opted for Bud instead. How do I know this [warning: what follows is not for the faint of heart]? Well, a gentleman who can only be described as "caucasian Cheech Marin" joined me in the restroom to "break the seal." While doing his business, Cheech hollered out, "DAYUM, them Bud's will tear your a$$ up!" Me: "Ha, if you have too many, I guess." Cheech: "Brother, it's the only thing in life that feels as good coming out as it does going in." Good for that guy.

Anyway, speaking of downstairs, a dimly-lit, low-ceilinged red brick hallway leads you into a dimly-lit, low-ceilinged red-brick bar with benches, a pool table, old beer barrels, and a refridgerator full of aforementioned High Life from the 1920s (the fridge, not the beer). There was even what can only be described as a "Beer Dungeon" -- a quasi-hidden alcove where extra beer and liquor was stored, that was guarded by padlocked, thick cast iron bars. Notably, to make the place as authentic a speakeasy replica as possible, the owners installed a 50-inch flatscreen plasma TV and a Nintendo Wii, complete with a gym bag with 10 games in it (a "dime bag of Wii" if you will?), and, most awesomely, a Rock Band system!

Of course, I didn't know about this for the first hour I was at the bar. My girlfriend, who knows of my Rock Band addiction, conspired with other AtoZers to keep me out of the basement as long as possible (and there I was so happy that Max kept going downstairs to get my beers for me...) Her hunch was right. As the crowd thinned a bit, the rest of the group found its way downstairs, where we proceeded to play Rock Band a good two hours. After miraculously figuring out how to set it up on our own, and having the bartender grant our request to turn down the bar music, we set out on a ROCK JOURNEY the likes of which 18th Amendment has ne'er seen. Ignoring the fact that we installed the drumset wrong, such that whoever played the drums conistently sucked, we were able to hold the attention of our fan club -- two youngsters on a date who kept making song requests. We closed the evening with a rousing rendition of Rush's "Tom Sawyer," then went our separate ways into the night with Geddy Lee's falsetto still ringing in our ears.

I'm happy the E bar worked out so well. Next time, I'll do my best to find the truly perfect E bar -- one where Ewoks serve you Eskimo Pies.

All-star of the night: Tom Divencinzo, who was the first to show up and the last to leave. Discovered Rock Band for the first time. And confused us all with the fact that he didn't know "Tom Sawyer," yet can sing "Ballroom Blitz" by The Sweet (wtf are they?) backwards and forwards.

A-to-Z rating: 3.77 out of 5.